Happy Mother's Day

I cannot believe another Mother's Day is here. This will be my 4th holiday without my Mom and it doesn't get any easier. We always went out for dinner to a very nice restaurant, and flowers were delivered to her from a wonderful florist. I am very lucky to have had a Mother who was really great to me, and gave me the strength I now possess. I so miss our Mother's Day dinners and enjoying her company. The photo above is my Mom when she was young, she had me in her 40's before it was cool to do so, she was always ahead of her time. If you are lucky enough to spend this holiday with your Mom, be sure to savor it and treat her like a Queen. I will be thinking of mine today, and all the wonderful memories we shared together.

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Happy Mother's Day

I hope that everyone who is celebrating today enjoys their day with their Mom. This is my 3rd Mother's Day without mine, and it doesn't get any easier. I do know that she is with me every day, and I know she is happy back with my Dad in heaven. Grief never goes away, you just learn to deal with it as time goes on. I am so glad we had many fabulous Mother's Days together. I will think of those memories on this day. 

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What I Miss on This Mother's Day

As many of you know who read this blog regularly, this will be my 2nd Mother's Day without my Mom. Growing up as an only child, we were very close. I think the 2nd year of her being gone has been more difficult than the first, as the first you are kind of numb. The 2nd year just makes you realize it is permanent, and you will never see them again.

I lost my Dad in 2004, but at least had my Mom to help grieve and cry with. I think it's really a life changing event when you lose your last parent, as they are the people who were your biggest cheerleaders in life. My Mom had me in her 40's when it wasn't cool to do so, she was ahead of her time.

You will never know the loss of a Mother until it happens to you, not a positive experience. We became friends as I got older, but I was always her daughter. No matter what age either of you are, that never changes. I can't even imagine folks who lose their Mom at a young age, it is hard as an adult, let alone being a child. Whatever age you are when you lose your Mom, it is a profound loss, and you feel like a part of you is missing.

I miss so many things about my Mom. Baking a new recipe. Watching movies. Going out to dinner. Hearing her voice when I walk in the door. Eating dinner together. Doing her makeup when we would go out for dinner. See her opening her gifts at Christmas. Her wonderful Italian cooking. Showing her my photographs from being in the city. Enjoying new treats I brought back from the city or ordered online. Her smile. Her laugh. Our hugs. I really miss the hugs. Her support. Her strength. Her love.

My Mom was a really wonderful lady. Everyone who came in contact with her once she got ill. thought she was just fabulous. She wasn't like most folks her age, she was different. On this Mother's Day, what I ultimately miss the most is just being with her. Sitting with her, and talking. And a few hugs. I know she will always be in my heart, and for that, I am forever richer.

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A Mother's Day Tribute

My Mother and her Mother, Mary, when she was a little girl - upper left photo 

My Mother in the middle with her sisters, Matilda and Anna - upper right photo

My Mother with her first husband Pat DiMemmo, who was killed in a car accident in 1957 - lower left photo 

My Mother with my Dad - lower right photo 

As many of you know, my Mom passed away in January of this year. She was sick for about 2 years, and we were lucky it was a short time. Prior to that, my Mom enjoyed good health, so it was very strange for me to see her not well. I can't even describe the loss of a Mother. You will never understand until you experience it yourself. My Dad passed away in 2004, and we had each other to hug and cry together. When she passed in January, I found out just how strong I really am, not something I was looking forward to.

My Mom was the original foodie. She was a great cook, and baker, and loved new recipes to try. She was very open to all types of food. She worked with many lovely Jewish ladies, and I had my share of Matzo which I love. She also received many great recipes from her co-workers, she was so thrilled to make for her family to enjoy. She once made a ham for Easter that was covered with a crust, the ham was in the center, it was quite a sight! There were many few foods she didn't like, French Onion Soup and Girl Scout Thin Mints were not favorites. We enjoyed many Afternoon Teas together, she loved watching the New York Yankees and tennis matches. I am so grateful for all we did together, I wish we did more, but the memories I have will be with me forever.

I am trying to understand this tremendous loss on this day we celebrate our Mother. I feel so bad for those who have Mother's they are not close to. I cannot even fathom that, we did argue, but always made up in the end. As I got older, and after my Dad passed away, we really become closer. She was my best friend, my best supporter. I miss her smile so much, I miss hugging her so tight she would yell at me I was hurting her. I miss saying something that she would say she was thinking the exact same thing. I miss just talking to her, and getting her opinion on my daily life.

I hope to try today to remember my great memories of my Mom and all the Mother's Day's we did have together. I would say to all of you who are lucky enough to have your Mom with you, spoil her rotten. Buy her flowers for no reason, not just on Mother's Day. Enjoy all the moments you have with her, because you never know how long you have with them. A Mother's bond is one that is unique, and cannot be duplicated. It is the ever-consuming love of your whole heart and soul. I really feel once they pass, they are still with you. Watching over you, hearing you when you speak to them, and being proud of what you accomplish.

Until we meet again Mom, thank you for all you have given me. You were one classy lady, and I hope I can live up to your legacy in my lifetime.

My Mom and  I holding hands in the nursing home the week before she passed away 

A Daughter's Goodbye

Written on January 8, 2015

Saying goodbye is never easy, when you say goodbye to someone very important like your Mother, it can be gut-wrenching. I am writing this as I sit with her in the nursing home, holding her hand, and stroking her face.

We see our parents as people that will be with us forever. If you are lucky enough to have good ones, you should be forever grateful. My Mother had me in her 40's before it was cool to do so. She was way above trend, she had a beauty degree, but worked most of her life in a very high-end children's boutique called The Kiddie Shoppe. I was known as The Kiddie Shoppe baby since all the clothes I wore came from the store.

I had so much love from my parents growing up, they may have been a bit over-strict, but I turned out pretty well. My Mom was a wonderful cook and baker, being full Italian - both her parents came from Naples, Italy to the USA - it was in her blood. Her favorite question "Is it cooked" drove me a bit crazy at times.

My Mom was very hip for her age, I guess due to having a young daughter. She had knowledge of Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. She also loved the Harry Potter series, Star Trek, The Hobbitt and even watched Entourage with me, laughing at Kevin Dillon and Jeremy Piven. She introduced me to period dramas and we both enjoyed Downton Abbey and Mr. Selfridge. The great British comedies like Are You Being Served, Keeping up Appearances and The Office, made her laugh.  My Mom was a very diverse person. She was my best friend, true friends are so hard to come by these days. She was always so proud of what I did and loved being involved in this blog. I always told her she was the "CMO" of this blog - Chief Mom Officer and she held that position with pride. If she saw something on tv that was in the city that she felt I should check out, she was quick to inform me. She taught me about class, style and cuisine.

I am lucky to have had her as long as I have, but I will miss her immensely. When your last parent passes away, you become an orphan. I cannot fathom not squeezing her cheeks anymore, or working on new recipes with her. I will miss her smile. I do feel she will always be with me, my new guardian angel. She will enjoy being with my Dad again, the love of her life. I will cherish every memory I have of her, and try to continue to make her proud. Saying goodbye is not easy, so I won't say goodbye - I will say "See you soon Mom" you are my light, my best girl and my everything. Thank you for making me who I am today, and giving me such a strong foundation. You have my undying love and devotion forever.

My Mother passed away January 12, 2015 in the afternoon hours.

Oliver Wendell Holmes: “The real religion of the world comes from women much more than men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms."