Sunday, May 8, 2016

What I Miss on This Mother's Day

As many of you know who read this blog regularly, this will be my 2nd Mother's Day without my Mom. Growing up as an only child, we were very close. I think the 2nd year of her being gone has been more difficult than the first, as the first you are kind of numb. The 2nd year just makes you realize it is permanent, and you will never see them again.

I lost my Dad in 2004, but at least had my Mom to help grieve and cry with. I think it's really a life changing event when you lose your last parent, as they are the people who were your biggest cheerleaders in life. My Mom had me in her 40's when it wasn't cool to do so, she was ahead of her time.

You will never know the loss of a Mother until it happens to you, not a positive experience. We became friends as I got older, but I was always her daughter. No matter what age either of you are, that never changes. I can't even imagine folks who lose their Mom at a young age, it is hard as an adult, let alone being a child. Whatever age you are when you lose your Mom, it is a profound loss, and you feel like a part of you is missing.

I miss so many things about my Mom. Baking a new recipe. Watching movies. Going out to dinner. Hearing her voice when I walk in the door. Eating dinner together. Doing her makeup when we would go out for dinner. See her opening her gifts at Christmas. Her wonderful Italian cooking. Showing her my photographs from being in the city. Enjoying new treats I brought back from the city or ordered online. Her smile. Her laugh. Our hugs. I really miss the hugs. Her support. Her strength. Her love.

My Mom was a really wonderful lady. Everyone who came in contact with her once she got ill. thought she was just fabulous. She wasn't like most folks her age, she was different. On this Mother's Day, what I ultimately miss the most is just being with her. Sitting with her, and talking. And a few hugs. I know she will always be in my heart, and for that, I am forever richer.

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